I detest the details of airline travel. And I have done a lot of it. I traveled when I was an opera singer, making trips to and from Europe on an average of every six weeks. I travelled in my work for a foundation, often to spectacular resorts I would never be able to afford myself. And, of course, I travel for myself, most recently to a family wedding in Istanbul. But on the way to the airport, I’ve always had a tight little knot in my stomach and a nagging sense that I’d never be home again.
On my long European trips there used to be some tension about whether my luggage was too heavy—now completely unimportant— (I did once bring a piece of exercise equipment with me to Germany); about the ordeal of passport control, which was never much, just inconvenient because of the long lines; and now TSA with the insane chaos of going through security; even though I have pre-check and Global Entry, and all the rest. It’s just a whole lot of hoops to jump through, I guess. But there’s always that moment once I’m through security and haven’t lost my i.d., my phone, or my boarding pass (which I prefer on paper) when I literally breathe a sigh of relief, and feel that now the fun can begin.
Because I love flying. I love everything about it. There is the sense of adventure, of course. Of flying out to make my dreams come true; of going to meet loved ones; of escaping the ordinary to reach some new destination with alligators, or whales, or great museums. The smell of jet exhaust reminds me with nostalgia of my first trip to Europe with my parents, the strangeness of everything; the mixture of exhaustion and exhilaration as you step out of the airport in early morning and find yourself in a new world.
I love taking off. The moment when the plane turns onto the runway, pauses, while the flight attendants drone in the background, then the whine of the engines, the acceleration—fast, faster, faster—until the moment of lift-off when the small child in me cannot help whispering. “We’re flying!”
And we are.
I love leaning against the bulkhead to watch the sky and the ground separate, the bump of the landing gear retracting, and that first stiff, sharp turn to head over Lake Michigan and away. I love the strange lines and details of the water, like skin, with wrinkles, and pock marks sometimes; sometimes with white-crested waves; or at sunset, with the shadow of the city on the blue water.
I love the smell of airline coffee in the early morning, holding the hot cup, steaming in my hands, filled with that fake cream they use. I love the buzz and burr of the unintelligible announcements from the flight deck. I love, on night flights, the pleasure of holding a glass of wine in my hands, watching the world slip away into the darkness.
But the moment I love most of all is on an overcast day, when the plane, after bumping and jogging through the currents, ascends through the cloud ceiling, and suddenly there is a gleam of sunlight. Then, as the plane breaks through the clouds, instead of gloom there is blue sky and sunshine, the world magically transformed, and the clouds seeming to invite you to lounge on them in a long vista of the most beautiful scene in the world.
In this moment I feel an internal shift. My worries fall away and my soul drifts out among the clouds. I lean back in my seat and watch, feeling, somehow, I’m in the precursor to eternity.
***
Since it is unlikely you are available to dog sit, there are two ways you can help support my work: You can become a paid subscriber (see below), and you can also purchase my books—even pre-order the new novel—at your favorite bookseller. Some of my favorite shops are Honest Dog Books, Boswell Book Company, Mystery to Me Books, Books and Company, Barbara’s Bookstores, Barnes & Noble, Target, and, of course, here. My illustrated children’s book, My Dog Pete is available only here. Thank you!
And now for your gratuitous dog photo:
And also a bunny:
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa7475919-b52f-4dbe-b417-fa32b64a853d_1125x945.jpeg)
Look at Eli GOOO! 😍😀
Well, now this begs the question: is Fiona young enough to join the Air Force?