I remember this essay very well, because it reminded me of a couple of our newer appliances that have the most annoying signals when a cycle is complete or a cup of water is finally heated to the perfect temperature. But, what really made me laugh, was the comment about not mentioning “duck” or any word that sounds like “duck” in the midst of a serious conversation around Auggie. Considering how conversations can go these days, I found that extremely hilarious. Sorry.🤭
“…they seem to feel a need to call attention to themselves, as if, like electronic toddlers, they are announcing: Look at me! Look what I’ve done!” Electronic narcissism is a great way to phrase this current cultural condition.
I think the water heater was a bit ashamed of its leak so it chose to do it silently. 🫢 💦
I also am thrilled to meet this essay again. Currently I have on loan from my daughter an odd-looking appliance she calls a vacuum cleaner. I can’t figure out how to swing the handle down from its fixed-upright position.
I love this every time I read this!! Currently sitting in a hospital room with my uncle with all manner of beeping, creaking and whirring 🤦♀️ I think hospitals might be the LEAST restful places on earth.
My washer sings a little vocalise after I push start (do mi sol fa me re do). I usually add a silent arpeggio (do mi sol do) and thank God it is working. Sometimes lately it is silent. No vocalising. It has habituated me so well to the tune that I start to panic until it starts. Again thank God it is working. It also has started to emit random beeps on its own when it is not being used. I ask it on those occasions whether I did something wrong… (did I leave the soak button on??), but it doesn’t answer and causes me some anxiety until it starts working again (thank God). Don’t get me started on its noisy friends, the bread maker and the oven which announces proudly that it has reached the temperature requested! PS, your beautiful essays are like an oasis in these hyper political times. Thank you.
I share your pain. No Alexa or Siri in my house although the car will ask is I inadvertently say "her" name which is the manufacturer's name. I do not want machines to talk to me. One of the joys of my multi cooker is that it does NOT play the little ditty to say the rice was done the way its Japanese cousin used to.
Have ordered your novels to keep me company as a recover from a knee replacement. Many thanks.
As I reread this essay, I'm reminded of another "disorder" called misphonia. Where certain sounds drive me to the point of homicide. Snoring and gum chewing are just a few sounds that send me to the edge of insanity.
I recall when my father's snoring drove me up the wall. It was LOUD, rhythmic, and shook every room contiguous to his bedroom. My sister's room was next to his, mine mercifully was separated by her room, a bathroom, and a hallway. One night, I spent the night with my sister in her bunk beds, why? Who knows. But sure enough, the freight train started its ear shattering noise from the room next door.
I asked my sister how she slept through the racket of Dad's snoring. She said, "What snoring?"
How could she not hear it, for Pete's sake. Was she deaf or what?
"There," I replied. "You hear that?" I said with each ear piercing room shaking snore. I realized my aural sensitivities were more sensitive than hers. She looked and listened intently concerned that her older sister had some wisdom that was important to note. Finally, she heard it. "Oh...yeah."
Well, we moved to my room that night, and from then on my sister moved to the basement bedroom from time to time if she were still awake when Dad went to bed.
Later, she glowered at me, thanking me (sarcastically, of course) for drawing her attention to Dad's snoring.
It's amazing we are still the best of friends 60 years after. It's a testament to her patience and forgiving nature.
I thought of this essay when I went into Best Buy a few days ago to order a new dryer. Since it was too early in the day for thinking, I let the lovely salesman do it for me. Never even thought to ask about sounds. Our old one had On and Off for rings and dings.
I never thought that my new TV purchase was going to end up being an annoyance - but it’s a newer “SMART” version of past models, and by god… it talks to me!!
There’s a woman inside that announces every single press of the remote of where I’m going next and how high the volume. Really? Do I need to hear the stuttering of each channel whizzing by? Worse yet - there’s a second woman in there who is in charge of parental controls!! I’m 77… cut that sh!+ out‼️
After ranting about it, I was informed (reminded) I have a settings feature where I can permanently banish them both.
Dash Egg Cooker - gift giver said “this will change your life!” Well, it has, because of my love of deviled eggs and egg salad sandwiches, it’s used often for that quick perfect doneness and “shells slip off like gloves”feature. It’s the loud like an alarm clock timer jingle that goes off and wakes up all animals in the neighborhood. Progress 🙄
The NYT has a recipe for the perfect boiled egg that will release you from the bondage of your egg cooker. The only sound you need hear is the boiling of water, the little clang of the pot lid, and the single ping of your egg timer. Bliss.
I laughed when I first read this essay, and laughed out loud even more today. I needed this humor. Imagine the design discussion among appliance manufacturers. Must be quite amusing, or not. Auggie, you are so handsome. Sending hugs to you and Eli.
Every darn one of the appliances, as a need to purchase them, is louder than the last. You might think then, when the power occasionally goes out that there would be silence. But no. 4 of them announce, through loud, but uncoordinated beeping, that there is a power interruption. There’s nothing worse, when in the dark by flashlight or candlelight than when I am accosted by the sounds of my neglected appliances.
What would we do without our guardian dogs or cats! My brother-in-law has always had Great Danes and they have all been on guard against that menace of the backyard, the squirrel. We soon learned if we were visiting to never say 'squirrel' aloud! Our cats, all indoor only, consider the neighbor's indoor-outdoor cat, who sometimes comes into the backyard, their sworn enemy. The smallest and newest of our cats, Misty, who usually never even meows, rushed the window the first time she saw Sprite and let out an outraged yowl at her.
I’m visual and chuckled through this passage envisioning your movements and expressions as you encountered each intrusive and disruptive “new” sound. Then was almost giddy with your description of Auggie and the “ducks”😁 Thank you, for starting my day with a 😊
I remember this essay very well, because it reminded me of a couple of our newer appliances that have the most annoying signals when a cycle is complete or a cup of water is finally heated to the perfect temperature. But, what really made me laugh, was the comment about not mentioning “duck” or any word that sounds like “duck” in the midst of a serious conversation around Auggie. Considering how conversations can go these days, I found that extremely hilarious. Sorry.🤭
Me too! 😆
“…they seem to feel a need to call attention to themselves, as if, like electronic toddlers, they are announcing: Look at me! Look what I’ve done!” Electronic narcissism is a great way to phrase this current cultural condition.
I think the water heater was a bit ashamed of its leak so it chose to do it silently. 🫢 💦
I also am thrilled to meet this essay again. Currently I have on loan from my daughter an odd-looking appliance she calls a vacuum cleaner. I can’t figure out how to swing the handle down from its fixed-upright position.
Been there, done that 🤣 but have faith; when it is done teasing you, it will reveal its secret!
Cross fingers
I love this every time I read this!! Currently sitting in a hospital room with my uncle with all manner of beeping, creaking and whirring 🤦♀️ I think hospitals might be the LEAST restful places on earth.
And ‘duck’ is like ‘ball’ in my house🤣
I wish your uncle well.
My washer sings a little vocalise after I push start (do mi sol fa me re do). I usually add a silent arpeggio (do mi sol do) and thank God it is working. Sometimes lately it is silent. No vocalising. It has habituated me so well to the tune that I start to panic until it starts. Again thank God it is working. It also has started to emit random beeps on its own when it is not being used. I ask it on those occasions whether I did something wrong… (did I leave the soak button on??), but it doesn’t answer and causes me some anxiety until it starts working again (thank God). Don’t get me started on its noisy friends, the bread maker and the oven which announces proudly that it has reached the temperature requested! PS, your beautiful essays are like an oasis in these hyper political times. Thank you.
I share your pain. No Alexa or Siri in my house although the car will ask is I inadvertently say "her" name which is the manufacturer's name. I do not want machines to talk to me. One of the joys of my multi cooker is that it does NOT play the little ditty to say the rice was done the way its Japanese cousin used to.
Have ordered your novels to keep me company as a recover from a knee replacement. Many thanks.
Thank you!
As I reread this essay, I'm reminded of another "disorder" called misphonia. Where certain sounds drive me to the point of homicide. Snoring and gum chewing are just a few sounds that send me to the edge of insanity.
I recall when my father's snoring drove me up the wall. It was LOUD, rhythmic, and shook every room contiguous to his bedroom. My sister's room was next to his, mine mercifully was separated by her room, a bathroom, and a hallway. One night, I spent the night with my sister in her bunk beds, why? Who knows. But sure enough, the freight train started its ear shattering noise from the room next door.
I asked my sister how she slept through the racket of Dad's snoring. She said, "What snoring?"
How could she not hear it, for Pete's sake. Was she deaf or what?
"There," I replied. "You hear that?" I said with each ear piercing room shaking snore. I realized my aural sensitivities were more sensitive than hers. She looked and listened intently concerned that her older sister had some wisdom that was important to note. Finally, she heard it. "Oh...yeah."
Well, we moved to my room that night, and from then on my sister moved to the basement bedroom from time to time if she were still awake when Dad went to bed.
Later, she glowered at me, thanking me (sarcastically, of course) for drawing her attention to Dad's snoring.
It's amazing we are still the best of friends 60 years after. It's a testament to her patience and forgiving nature.
P.S. Thanks for the pic. Auggie on guard!
I thought of this essay when I went into Best Buy a few days ago to order a new dryer. Since it was too early in the day for thinking, I let the lovely salesman do it for me. Never even thought to ask about sounds. Our old one had On and Off for rings and dings.
Godspeed.
Never say “duck” or any word that sounds like “duck” in the midst of a serious conversation near the lake. 😂
I never thought that my new TV purchase was going to end up being an annoyance - but it’s a newer “SMART” version of past models, and by god… it talks to me!!
There’s a woman inside that announces every single press of the remote of where I’m going next and how high the volume. Really? Do I need to hear the stuttering of each channel whizzing by? Worse yet - there’s a second woman in there who is in charge of parental controls!! I’m 77… cut that sh!+ out‼️
After ranting about it, I was informed (reminded) I have a settings feature where I can permanently banish them both.
Dash Egg Cooker - gift giver said “this will change your life!” Well, it has, because of my love of deviled eggs and egg salad sandwiches, it’s used often for that quick perfect doneness and “shells slip off like gloves”feature. It’s the loud like an alarm clock timer jingle that goes off and wakes up all animals in the neighborhood. Progress 🙄
The NYT has a recipe for the perfect boiled egg that will release you from the bondage of your egg cooker. The only sound you need hear is the boiling of water, the little clang of the pot lid, and the single ping of your egg timer. Bliss.
I laughed when I first read this essay, and laughed out loud even more today. I needed this humor. Imagine the design discussion among appliance manufacturers. Must be quite amusing, or not. Auggie, you are so handsome. Sending hugs to you and Eli.
Every darn one of the appliances, as a need to purchase them, is louder than the last. You might think then, when the power occasionally goes out that there would be silence. But no. 4 of them announce, through loud, but uncoordinated beeping, that there is a power interruption. There’s nothing worse, when in the dark by flashlight or candlelight than when I am accosted by the sounds of my neglected appliances.
Oh my God. That’s hideous.
What would we do without our guardian dogs or cats! My brother-in-law has always had Great Danes and they have all been on guard against that menace of the backyard, the squirrel. We soon learned if we were visiting to never say 'squirrel' aloud! Our cats, all indoor only, consider the neighbor's indoor-outdoor cat, who sometimes comes into the backyard, their sworn enemy. The smallest and newest of our cats, Misty, who usually never even meows, rushed the window the first time she saw Sprite and let out an outraged yowl at her.
Auggie guards the border on the DMZ. (Demilitarized Mallard Zone.) 🦆🐾🗺️😁
I’m visual and chuckled through this passage envisioning your movements and expressions as you encountered each intrusive and disruptive “new” sound. Then was almost giddy with your description of Auggie and the “ducks”😁 Thank you, for starting my day with a 😊
Fully agree with this essay!